Looking Through Stained Glass

Buried Hurts

Erasing the stress of daily life
After another working slob day
Another night of watching TV
A little mindless boob tube foray

I knew what I watched was coincidence
As they’re prone to say in their disclaim
But I felt every muscle start to tense
All they had to do was say my name

A show we’ve watched many times before
The hour escape of cops and crime
But this episode opens up door
That hurls me back to a bad place in time


I was barely three months into fifteen
And like most teens thinking I was mature
Finding myself in a much adult scene
I quickly realized I wasn’t so sure

Never did drugs, but this night I did drink
I felt safe with the friends and company
I never got so drunk, I couldn’t think
And left when things started geting creepy

I knew when I left, I wouldn’t be missed
Not that anyone cared there and then
But an orgy, when I’d barely been kissed?
Was not a scene I wanted to be in

It was just four blocks to my cousin’s place
But that early morning weather was grim
With my hood pulled so close on my face
It was too late by the time I saw him


I had watched such scenes on TV before
Processed them from memory’s sight
But somewhere, somehow, some seam just tore
And years old tears came down that night

I never told a soul the painful details
But there they were for all the world to see
My self-preservation couldn’t prevail
As the past came and overtook me

I felt my husband’s arms reach through the pain
To the tortured soul buried away
As hard racking sobs, took over domain
I tried to stop, but I couldn’t obey

As all the details came out as I cried
Things said never, now finally told
Somehow I knew, he knew deep inside
Was a fifteen-year old in his hold

I had hope I'd never go through this
I made a life of just letting it be
Should've something would break the bliss
But who’d think it would be the TV?

You choke down your pain in order to survive
Doing what you must, to get through the day
But when you least expect it, your pain will revive
Buried hurts never really go away

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© 2005 Raivenne (All rights reserved)

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