Leashed by a Master Remote Channel?
Just have to hurry through another 24
I’m Lost with out that fox Jack don’t you know?
Jack Bauer will come to save the day once more
And those Desperate Housewives from certain woe
I’m a freak on a leash can’t you see?
And who’s my Master? Good ole TV
Yeah I know Tony Soprano can drive a girl like me to drink
But it’s a more than Buffy who’s willing to take that stake
Make Wentworth Miller MY cellmate for a month in the brink
Now that’s one prison from which even he won’t want to break!
I avail my Queer Eye on What Not to Wear no doubt
When Trading Spaces, While You Were Out and about
Miss Dancing Stars That Got Talented with an Idol? No!
TiVo, DVDR, VHS they’re the means which get by
Even watch shows on my iPod as I travel to and fro
I’ll watch Vegas, New York, Miami hell even Tulsa CSI!
I steer my cultured humor over to channels BBC
It’s Benny Hill and Monty Python for me!
Yes, my psyche’s channeled by remote
So it’s 3 am? Trust me I’m more than all right
There’s over 800 choices on which to graze and dote
There’s no Star Spangled Banner in my dawn’s early light
Storm caused a black out last night and my face became a moon
to absent suns – no solar power either! I wanted to swoon!
I go to HSN and buy a pretty trinket of glass paste
Look! A new pasta machine! I won’t be denied
For its Hell’s Kitchen with the Iron Chefs laid to waste
They tried to fricassee then deep fry my TV Guide!
But don’t worry TV honey, you’re still my main man!
Five minutes ‘till Oprah?! I’m running as fast as I can!