Looking Through Stained Glass


 
New Year's Love

We’re having another inane conversation
And the timbre of your voice melts over my skin
I tremble in fear of the potential revelation
Should you discover all I feel within



How I am captivated by the warmth of your smile
The deep well of love in your eyes that I see
Yet each takes my heart through such a trial
For I know neither of them are for me

Being friends to both of you, the paradox does occur
For her happiness I do wish for too
So from a near distance I watch your love grow for her
And there’s not a damned thing I can do



As your best friend you come to me for advice as needed
When things are not quite as should be
It’s a deep cut when she reveals how nice she treated
When I’m so wishing they were done for me

I try to tell myself these feelings are wrong
I so try to put myself at a distance
But then you call when we’re apart too long
And I’m right back at this dance



Fate brought us together when we both needed to mend
When respective romances were starting to fall
Through different things we became closest friends
But never once did I ever think that love would come to call

Oh, I so wish I could say I remember your kiss
I once knew the sweet feel of your touch
But you and I never had a chance for this
Though I long for it now oh so much

You’ve invaded my dreams with such force
I’d swear I know the feel of your kiss on my head
It tears a fresh hole in my heart even more of course
When each time I wake up and you’re not in my bed



It makes the times we hang together harder to bear
But being away from you is harder still
I must behave around you with such care
For fear the contents of my heart may spill

Sometimes you’ll stare at me and I think you know in your heart
Just why I’m behaving somewhat aloof and stiff
In the way you now kiss my cheek near my lips before we part
Can I help but start to wonder “What if?”



And lately your behavior has started to be strange
And when I ask you can’t look me in the eyes
She’s equally baffled by your odd change
In tears she’s come to me wondering why

I feel so trapped in my own duplicity
I don’t have the comfort she wants me to give
This whirlpool of love’s complicity
Is just no way for me to live



So New Year’s Eve I decided to reveal my soul
And let the chips fall where they may
My mind, my heart needs to regain control
For I couldn’t keep living my life in this way

Once more I leave my heart in the hands of fate
With the fear of love and friendship both spurred
But then he says he knows and yes reciprocates
Before I even manage to get out the first word



Words once only dreamed of, from his lips start to pour
Love secretly given being openly returned last
Prepared to hit rock bottom, my heart starts to soar
With one magical kiss all longing is the past

A year ago this love only our imaginations could believe
In our fantasies we never imagined a love as good as this
A year almost done with this coming New Year’s Eve
And tomorrow we become joined in wedded bliss


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raivenne@theraivenne.com

© 2005 Raivenne (All rights reserved)

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